Asked Twice
by Lucinda
Summary: single-shot. A could've-should've moment in early s2. Not friendly, but not intended as bashing.


Author: Lucinda

Rated t for teen? Y-12 for slightly suggestive commentary?

Main character: Xander Harris

Disclaimer: I don't own Buffy, Xander, Willow, Giles, or Angel. I don't own Cordelia. The only people I own are a couple of the links in the chain of gossip. Joss & his writers own the rest - I think – they belong to whoever holds the rights and title to the BtVS series.

Distribution: WWOMB, Mental Wanderings, XanderZone or just ask.

Notes: set early season 2, a could've/should've been moment that wasn't.

Xander leaned against the wall, his mind returning to last night at the Bronze. Buffy had moved towards him, her hips doing this... thing. He couldn't put it into words beyond 'wow' and 'yum', and he was pretty sure that either one would get him smacked.

He had been complete putty in her hands, but... But she hadn't done anything, hadn't wanted anything. Just to play around, to yank him off balance and leave him dangling. It had all been about the power, about proving to herself or maybe to someone else that she could get to him, get under his skin.

She had got under his skin. Last night, he'd wanted... well, maybe he should just leave it at he'd wanted, wanted Buffy in every way, in any way. But it hadn't meant anything to her. Maybe he didn't mean anything to her.

Sometimes he hated living in Sunnydale.

He was still trying to push the memory away or just tuck it back for wild, impossible dreams later when he and Willow shuffled into the library for a quick research on recent deaths, spiders emerging from the plumbing, and the strange body found on the beach last night. He'd overheard some girls talking about it in history, who'd heard it from Tiffany, who'd heard from her boyfriend Brad, who'd heard from Aura who's brother worked at the beach...

There were thick, leather bound books in front of him, written in Olde and in Spanish. He opened one, not really paying attention to the description of the demon that looked rather like a three foot tall Chihuahua.

"Ask me again..." Buffy's voice was a warm whisper in his ear. "You asked me something the first day we met. Why don't you ask me again?"

His mind immediately tried to go into a very happy place involving naked Buffy, a bowl of cream filling, and a pile of velvet pillows.

Xander caught sight of Buffy's golden hair, falling beside him. Just past the strands, he could see a shape behind the bookshelf. A tall, brooding shape. Angel.

She had asked him when she'd felt Angel approaching. Asked him knowing that vampires could hear better, knowing or guessing that Angel could hear her. Would hear whatever Xander said in reply.

It was a ruthlessly cold thing to do. A Cordelia thing to do.

"When I first saw you, I fell over the railing and asked if I could have you," Xander mused, something hurting inside as he turned over all the reasons that she would ask now, ask when the vampire that she 'wasn't involved with' would hear. Asked after last night, when she'd tempted, taunted and abandoned him. "I thought you were gorgeous."

From the corner of his eye, Xander could see Buffy smirking. He could see Willow tensing at the computer. The half seen shape that was Angel froze.

Things came into horrible, sharp edged clarity for Xander Harris.

"I won't ask again, Buffy. I would have, in the spring. But you aren't the same person that you were in the spring. That Buffy was brave, and warm and one of the prettiest people that I knew, inside and out. I guess the Master killed her," Xander swallowed, hoping that he wasn't about to be killed for what he would say next. "The Buffy who came back to Sunnydale is cold, and manipulative, and spiteful. You got me all worked up at the Bronze and left. You asked me this now, when the guy you were maybe sort of not involved with can hear me. I won't ask the Buffy of today that question, because I wouldn't want the person you've become."

"What?!" Buffy's angry shriek was definitely not pretty.

"You've still got a nice... okay, a gorgeous body. But you're not nice inside anymore. That brave, warm, funny girl from last year isn't there anymore. I don't like the new you, and I don't want to get involved," Xander closed the book, sliding out of the chair and taking a step away from Buffy.

"Stay like this, and you'll be fighting alone because nobody will want to help you," He started walking towards the library doors, aching inside as he missed the Buffy of last year. He didn't have many friends, and she'd been one of them. But this wasn't his friend Buffy.

The chair hit the door beside him, continuing out into the hall and breaking. He tensed, knowing what that could do to him if another chair hit him instead of the door. "The Buffy I wanted wasn't a bully. She wouldn't try to make people stay by breaking their bones. She didn't try to hurt humans either."

Xander felt tense and nervous as he walked out of the library. His footsteps echoed in the hall, and he wondered what would happen next, if he would be attacked, if he'd just have to go back home and be alone, the way he'd been alone so many times before.

"Xander!" Willow's voice behind him, her soft footsteps squeaking on the tiles.

"Yeah?" He refused to turn around, didn't want to go back into the library, into Buffy's space.

"Come over to my place, we can go over the geometry together?" Willow looked at him, her eyes shining and a damp smudge over her cheek.

He didn't know what would happen tomorrow. Didn't know if things would be the same with Buffy. But tonight, he had stood up to a bully and walked away. And he still had his best willowy friend ever. "Sure, we can go over Geometry. And I can try to help you make sure all your sentences don't run on in your paper for History."

"Okay," Willow beamed at him, and her fingers brushed against his hand.

For now, it would be enough.

end Asked Twice.


End file.
